8 Things You Actually Need: A Guide to Newborn Essentials
Just like Most new Parents, I tried to prepare for an unknown future when I was pregnant with my son.
I went through a brief period of time during my second trimester when I thought I needed everything on every list, just in case. Then I decided I wanted nothing, and it felt like all of those lists were targeting my vulnerabilities and trying to get me to buy more than I needed and more than I would ever use.
I landed somewhere in the middle. It turns out you do need some stuff when you’re about to add a tiny person to your family, and it is also true that what you need and buy is shaped by your values, the personality of your baby, your style and budget. I liked starting with just what I needed and patiently and deliberately adding what felt right. My family and friends also had the uncanny ability to show up with clothes and toys at just the right moment, especially Holden’s grandmas.
Note: This post is not sponsored, affiliated, or influenced. It’s just the stuff I used that was high quality and resilient to travel, wear and tear.
Additional note: gift cards make some of the best baby shower gifts.
Diapers
There’s a reason these are number one on every list, newborns use a lot of diapers. I had great intentions to only use cloth diapers, but we ended up using a mix of disposables and cloth. For disposables, we used Bambo Nature and Seventh Generation, and continue to use these when we’re traveling or out all day. My friend recommended buying cloth diaper supplies at Green Mountain Diapers. This website is a great resource for diapering with folding tutorials and high-quality, well-tested products. I bought a bunch of the Cloth-eez Flats (pictured) and prefolds and used them for diapering, but also for cleaning up blurps and barfs, and I slept on an XL prefold for months because I was, er, a bit leaky. I also bought some workhorse diapers, but my baby grew out of them so fast, they got stashed away for the next kid sooner than I imagined. We’ve used the Grovia Shell since Holden was five months old, and they work the best for him. You can buy cotton reusable liners and disposable travel liners. we used a combination of reusable wipes and disposable wipes. I also really like the Grovia magic stick.
Car Seat
Car seats shouldn’t be loaded with toxic chemicals like flame retardants and perfluorinated chemicals. If you have the opportunity to buy or receive one without chemicals that are known endocrine disruptors, there are a few companies making car seats that are both safe for travel and chemical free. We used a Nuna Pipa Lite Infant Car seat, but as a first time mom it didn’t occur to me that my kid would grow out of his car seat, so I would probably invest in the Nuna Rava or the UPPAbaby Knox or other chemical-free convertible car seat. Keep an eye on sales, Craigslist, and other places where you can get high quality products second hand.
Fingernail Clippers & Thermometer
Birth is hard, sure, but tiny, delicate baby fingernails are their own category of difficult. I cut Holden’s nails while he slept until he was around 9 or 10 months old, and before I knew it his nails were long again. There are many options, but we use NailFrida nail clippers.
The most accurate thermometers for babies under 3 months old are rectal thermometers. I bought one, but thankfully, never had a reason to go there. It’s important not to use a digital ear thermometer on babies under 6 months old. We also own a temporal thermometer.
Wool Baby Clothes
Holden sleeping in his cozy Engel wool suit.
It didn’t snow very much until March, the month Holden was born. We used his Engel fleece suit more than any other piece of clothing and he wore it from infancy, until sadly, I couldn’t fit it on his body anymore (then we got the next size up!). His wool clothes have lasted longer and fit his body shape better than any other clothes. I have a pair of wool pants from when he was 3 months old that he still wears, albeit in capri form. My favorite website for baby clothes is, by far, Mamaowl. We use unscented Eucalan wool wash for all of the wool clothes in our home. We used wool booties everyday until holden started walking, and then switched to a wool shoe that fit Holden’s rather thick feet.
Patagonia makes my other favorite baby clothes, especially their sun hoody and hats and other clothes for sun protection and cold weather. We also had a plentiful supply of organic cotton onesies. We use oasis biocompatible laundry detergent for our non-wool items.
haakaa
My friend recommended the Haakaa pump and I wasn’t sure if I would use it. Then I used it every time I fed my baby. Mom’s who’ve been there done that really are the best resources. You put it on your non-feeding nipple and it catches the excess flow. If you have an overwhelming milk supply and are leaking often, this product is so helpful.
Support for the parents
I was so hungry and so thirsty when Holden was an infant. I’d sit down to feed him and feel like I hadn’t had a drink of water in years. My husband and my brother, Bob, who lives with us, would bring me water, snacks, and my pile of seven books every time I nursed Holden and I am forever grateful. My mom made a ton of nourishing food for us to have on hand during the early weeks, and my mother-in-law got us groceries and other essential items I needed like more pads during those first 6 weeks and nipple cream. I am so grateful for the love, help and care I received from my family and friends.
A few weeks after giving birth, I started getting massages, then at about 6 months I started getting body work in the form of Rolfing. Body work and movement have helped me embody the dynamic transition my body has undergone. My partner also rubs my neck and back every night (please, never stop). I sometimes struggle to slow down, but these practices place me firmly back in my body and I usually only realize how desperately I need to slow down and feel nourished through touch and presence when I’m on the receiving end of this care.
Make a plan before your baby is born for the early days. Read The First Forty Days and The Fourth Trimester and build your support crew. Also, read my article about support.
The Great Outdoors
Breastfeeding and walking are not mutually exclusive.
Being outside in my garden or going for short walks when my baby was new healed my body and mind. Take your time, move slow and don’t go far those first few weeks after birth, but allow the sun, fresh air, sounds and smells of nature guide and support you as you transition into your new role as mama.
My body ached during the early days of feeding Holden. I was struggling to figure out how to lay down and feed him, so I spent hours with him in my lap in the same position. Once we both got the hang of things, I started changing positions and going on walks while nursing him. It felt so good to move and I’d take slow steady steps as he nursed. We figured out the side lying position eventually, and now he’s generally too distracted to nurse in public, so I really cherish the days when I walked and he ate.
Maybe not essential, but used often and well-loved
I really loved my moses basket and used it often with and without the rocker. Mine was from Restoration Hardware and is no longer available, but there are many other great options like these.
During the early days of marathon cluster feeding, I splurged on a Sakura Bloom Scout baby carrier. I carried my baby just in my arms often, but used this when I needed my hands. We also used an Ergo on countless hikes and walks, which worked better for my husband.
I started my family nurse practitioner master’s program when Holden was 3 months old and I was doing some computer work with him asleep on my lap when I spilled a big glass of water and destroyed my laptop. My mother-in-law was very pleased to see that from that day forward, I used a Lifefactory glass bottle or Hydro Flask with a straw, and now my son loves to drink out of it too.
Cats. My son loves his kitties, and they love him back.
